wrigley field is MILF paradise
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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