stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
