Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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