i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
