he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
