i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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