he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
