Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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