Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize