honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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