is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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