found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
