I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
high people should be assigned attendants
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
