I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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