I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
