It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
A+ Viking dick
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