dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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