Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize