This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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