Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
