What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
