Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
