dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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