You're completely useless in the revolution.
I puked a lego.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
