like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
