The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
