"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
