i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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