Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How does one acquire holy water?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
