I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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