i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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