The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
