Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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