I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
