dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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