Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
