I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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