I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
