Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
