The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
