I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
