I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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