And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
