i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
