It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
