i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize