Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
