i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
