Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
