I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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