Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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