haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Two words: blizzard sex
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
