Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
