I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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