How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
