you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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