Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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