He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
