just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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