I need help removing her.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just cropdusted the office
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
did i walk over a car last night?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
