I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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