And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she smelled like a LAN party
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Mom said you looked used
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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