hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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