Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Fuck appropriateness.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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