Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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