Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
