Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
