I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize