YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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